I was a mother in her early twenties when I heard those three words that indefinitely changed my life… “YOU HAVE M.S..” This was the disease that Tamia and Richard Pryor were facing. Montel, the talkshow host, was also diagnosed with this disease… but how did I get it? I spent the last months of 2006 in depression because I was diagnosed with something I couldn’t explain and couldn’t get rid of. Needless to say, I was less than jolly that holiday season.
Throughout my depression, I only wanted answers. Shortly, I received an epiphany that would change my life. There is power in understanding your circumstance. Even though I felt millions of miles away from God I still wanted clarity regarding my situation. There were nights of confusion where I would cry myself to sleep. Other times I would be angry and didn’t want to even discuss faith. The faith that I thought I had seemed irrelevant because God wouldn’t give this fate to me. After I got over my JOB experience, God gave me what I was asking for.
I knew that multiple meant many but I was unsure about the white spots on my brain. They were called “sclerosis”. I looked in the dictionary and discovered that sclerosis meant scars. So in my body resided multiple scars. What is a scar? A scar is a mark left from a healed wound or the aftermath of psychological trauma. In my spirit, I realized that I did have many areas that had aftermath of psychological trauma. Many things had happened to me in my past and I was wearing the faulty aftermath. Consider the first definition, “mark left from a healed wound”. In the same way, I was beating myself up over things that were healed and dare I say, FORGIVEN.
I left with the idea that I would forgive myself and live my best life. With this new mindset, I had a different perspective about the disease. My doctor confirmed the epiphany when I told him that I felt better. His response to me was that I was in “remission”. I heard this term before so I went back to the dictionary for further clarification. Remission is forgiveness of debt. That simple statement gave me a bigger testimony. GOD FORGAVE ME, I NEEDED TO FORGIVE MYSELF and with that same blessing, I HAD TO FORGIVE OTHERS.